The theme for Self Portrait Challenge this month is "imperfection". I've really spent a lot of time thinking about it. In fact, too much so far, my classes are suffering. I've also been busy and this is the first moment I have had to compose something. I decided to just jump right in with something heavy.
You can't see it in the first photo there, I just chose to include that one because I like it. But it sets the mood as well. I am swaddled in my bed, you can see a corner of my favourite red wall behind me, I have my head resting on my left bicep/arm, a very common position for me. In short, I am in a place of comfort. You may wonder how comfort fits in with imperfection, but it does, trust me.
You can see it there, on my upper arm. That tiny little scar. It's only 2 inches long. It is hidden by even my shortest t-shirt sleeve. I am not embarrased to have a scar on my arm, accidents are a way of life. Well, I wouldn't be ashamed either if it were from one of life's little hiccoughs. That little scar has faded a lot over the last, what's it been, 4, 5 years that I came by it? It also used to be accompanied by a host of other scars and blemishes, some smaller, some bigger, but this little one is the one that decided to stay.
It all came from a place of comfort (you see my tie-in?). A place of artificial comfort, a way out of the hassles of the day, a time to relax, and just... slip back, much as most people do with a hot bath, letting restfulness wash over them. It's not a place I turn to any more, but once it's in your blood, it's hard to get out. It serves to remind me, and nag me, and tempt me, and chide me. Comfort me, debase me, build me up, tear me down and spit on me.
Most people never notice that little scar, let alone think about where it came from, and even if they do, it's always ascribed to one of life's little hiccoughs.
I'm sorry if you came here looking for knitting today and got this little rant. I know a lot of (knit)bloggers fight with themselves about how much to include. I don't think I've put too much here, but I think it is enough. As always though, if anyone is unclear, or has questions or, well, anything, feel free to ask in the comments box. Given the nature of this post (and this month), definitely feel free to e-mail me privately as well, I know some people would be happier off not having to read more about this.
Lets see what I can find for next week. (as always, visit www.selfportraitchallenge.net)
Monday, October 09, 2006
Posted by Michael at 10:00:00 PM